Friday Update 2024-03-08

Happy Friday! Have you played Evertrue Chronicle: Demo Edition yet? It came out last week and it’s still full of all the improvements and new content it had on release! If you played the original Memoria Demo I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how far it’s come, and if you haven’t, there’s no better time to get a feel for the game as I work towards the next release.

Speaking of the next release, the next major release is expected to be the final release, but before that the demo could use some work as well. I had the opportunity to sit in on someone playing the game for their first time, and it was an enlightening experience! It gave me an great opportunity to see the pain points in the demo, and all the work that goes into correcting those will go into the final release as well.

The clearest pain point is the dialogue. There’s a lot of it, and it’s very dense. My writing in Evertrue Chronicle was largely informed by my experience writing Family of Me, which consists mostly of long form conversations. While that kind of thing works in a written format, it’s less effective in an RPG with its limited text window size, and too much text can be an impediment to player agency. That can make the game more difficult to engage with, so I’m striving to make the text more concise and remove extraneous detail, especially in the critical path of the game.

As an example, consider the very first thing the player sees in the game, the conversation with Memoria’s Elder:

Elder: Welcome to Memoria, traveler. I am Elder Han, the leader of this small village. What business brings you here? Trading, perhaps? Just passing through?

Player Character: The Cave of Visions. I seek news of the Princess Evertrue.

Elder: News? You will not find news in that Cave unless it’s buried in your past, but it is not for me to judge your purpose.

Elder: You need not even tell me what you seek; it is only for me to judge your character. So you wish to become a Seeker and enter the Cave of Visions?

PC: I do.

Elder: Then hear this. To accept the Seeker’s Seal and become a Seeker, you must leave your old life behind.

Elder: You may return to it when you leave, but whatever concerns, attachments, grudges, or other business you have must not follow you into this place.

Elder: Further, you may discover things about yourself or others that would drive you to hatred or violence.

Elder: Before I will apply the Seeker’s Seal, you must pledge yourself to peace in this village, no matter what you learn or who you become.

PC: Then I pledge myself to peace, and hereby forego any claims to status or power that I may have.

Elder: It is good that you answered without hesitation. What is the name of this aspirant who stands before me, he who would claim the mantle of Seeker?

PC: I… I don’t remember.

Elder: I see. That is troubling, as the Seeker’s Seal demands a name, and I cannot apply it without one. But the name itself does not matter so long as you claim it is yours.

Elder: So tell me, by what name do you wish to be known?

Wow, that’s a lot of text! 14 text boxes to read through before the Player gets a chance to enter a name. The Elder’s explanation of the Cave of Visions also leaves a bit to be desired; he could be more direct about what the Cave does, which would help ground the player in the world. There’s also a bit of aimless banter, which isn’t helpful here. Banter isn’t always bad, but at the beginning of the game, the player hasn’t had the opportunity to build a connection to any of the characters yet… My goal in this scene should be getting the player grounded in the world and playing the game as quickly as possible.

So, can we improve it? Compare that text with this revision:

PC: Excuse me, I’m…

Elder: …The Northern Hawk. News of your exploits in the war have reached us even here, on the edge of the kingdom.

Elder: The townspeople may not know you, but as Memoria’s Elder, it is my business to know such things. What brings you to my village?

PC: I wish to set my reputation aside and enter the Cave of Visions. I used to serve Princess Evertrue, and I’m desperate for news of her whereabouts.

Elder: News? The Cave of Visions can only show you your past. Besides, I’ve never heard of a Princess Evertrue… Only the lost Prince.

PC: I have vague memories of her… At least I think I do. If I could see them more clearly, maybe…

Elder: I see. I can grant you a Seeker’s Seal, which will mark you as a Seeker and allow you entry into the Cave, but I need your name to perform the magic.

PC: I… I don’t remember my name. People just call me The Northern Hawk.

Elder: The spell demands a name, but the name does not matter so long as you claim it’s yours. What would you like to be called?

That’s certainly shorter: only 9 text boxes! It’s also more direct: Instead of getting a vague description of what the Cave does, the Elder tells us directly, and the PC even explains why he wants to get in there. On top of that, the Elder introduces the PC in the second text box, giving the player an immediate connection to him, as well as quickly introducing the player to the world: there’s a war, you’re a mercenary, the town is called Memoria.

So fortunately, we can improve things. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of text to revise, so it’s going to take some time. I’ll keep posting these Friday Updates though, so stay tuned… See you in a week or two!